Mother of the Bride: Duties & Etiquette Every Mom Needs to Know

A beautiful and enjoyable wedding is the ultimate goal for the bridal couple. Here are some quick tips to help the mother of the bride avoid overstepping boundaries and how to best support the bridal party without getting stressed out.

As the mother of the bride, many responsibilities may be required of you in a short period of time. It may be tempting to take on more responsibilities to ensure your daughter has an extra special day, but don’t take on so much stress you end up sacrificing her and your own happiness. Take on just enough responsibility to ease the bride’s stress.

These tips will help you to support the bride and be a great mother to her without overstepping boundaries.

Before the Wedding: Mother of the Bride Duties

Be Supportive

Remember: it’s not just the bride who is getting married. The groom’s opinions also matter! This may give way to a dynamic that, as a mother, you’re not used to. Keep in mind you all want the same thing: a lovely and enjoyable wedding. Give the bride and groom space to make their own decisions together. Make yourself available if help is needed and share your opinion, especially on bridal dresses, as requested. Try to only share your opinion if a decision will put the bride in danger, or if something crucial has been overlooked about the wedding venue.

Discuss Wedding Finances and Budgeting

Have an open, considerate, and transparent conversation about your financial contributions for the big day. It’s important not to commit to funds that are beyond your means. Only offer what you feel comfortable parting with. Be especially clear on what funds are meant as gifts and what funds need to be repaid. No bride wants to be under the impression that the wedding reception has been gifted to her only to be hit with an invoice and payment plan after the wedding is over.

Wedding Dress Shopping

Finding the right dress is not just for the bride, it’s for the mother of the bride too!

You want to represent yourself well. If you’ve been given the privilege of shopping for dresses, especially bridal dresses, support the bride in her choice. She might prefer a different style than you do and that’s okay. Remember, it’s most important for her to look good on her big day, not for you to approve of her dress. As long as she feels beautiful and comfortable, the bride’s dress decision should be supported.

During The Wedding: Mother of the Bride Duties

Once the wedding has started, the responsibilities of the mother of the bride are not over. The bride needs your support throughout the entire day. Calming the bride, making sure she’s eaten food, keeping her hydrated, and encouraging her are all important tasks for the mother of the bride.

The mother of the bride is also the alternate point of contact when the bridal party is not available for questions. You should be able to answer basic questions about the venue, and event details, be able to inform vendors, and act as a liaison to the wedding planner. Check on your guests. Greet them and ensure they’re comfortable and taken care of. Be prepared to leave later than most guests. You’ll want to ensure the last-minute details for vendors are wrapped up and everyone’s been paid.

Mother of the Bride Common Courtesies

Although the mother-of-the-bride etiquette varies from everyday etiquette, many everyday courtesies will take you far.

Offer Support

Be a supportive figure for the newlyweds. Convey your questions politely and concisely. Be agreeable, respectful, and cordial with guests, the groom’s family, and all the vendors. You’re all working together to have a wonderful wedding event.

Avoid Overindulging

Enjoy food and drink but use discretion. Overindulging to the point of losing your composure can embarrass the bride.

Obtain Pre-Approval for Toasting Topics

If you plan to make a formal toast during the reception, run your idea by the bride first before getting behind the mic. You may cherish the memories of her toddler years or her doing something silly, but the bride may not appreciate those details being shared with the entire guest list. Keep your toast filled with warm wishes and genuine regards. If you’re unsure about whether you can say something genuine and positive, consider opting out of a toast or deferring to someone else.

Ensure Respect of Bridal Couple’s Wishes

You have raised your daughter to respect you and other people but also to have her own personality and opinions. There might be things that you and the bride (and the groom) might not agree on but remember, it is their wedding, and respecting their wishes is important. The bride, who was once your little girl, is now an adult capable of making her own decisions.

Help With Incidental Items

Although the wedding day is the bride’s big day to look and feel her best, don’t neglect yourself. Make sure you take care of yourself while you’re taking care of the bride and helping the bridesmaids. Grab water, extra toiletries, snacks, and anything else when it’s needed. Try to think ahead about incidental items so that if someone forgets something, you don’t have to spend precious time going to the store. Have items on hand like mints, water, small snacks, hair spray, hairpins, deodorant, and body mist. Consider what things or activities calm the bride before her nerves get the best of her. Keep an extra charger or have a full charge on your phone for when vendors or guests need to contact you.

Find The Perfect Mother of the Bride Dress at Afarose

When choosing a mother of the bride dress, be sure to choose one that’s comfortable, flattering, and fits the theme. Don’t upstage the bride or bridal party with your dress. Certainly do not wear black or white without the bride’s permission. Choose a mother of the bride dress that compliments the bridesmaid dresses but it’s best to avoid getting the exact same dress as the bridesmaids. Choose a color, cut, and style that’s flattering and fits the wedding theme.

And don’t forget to incorporate matching accessories, like the Vera shawl for cooler weather wedding dates or for those heavily air-conditioned spaces if the wedding is taking place in the middle of summer.

If you need help choosing a suitable gown for the bride, mother of the bride, or bridesmaids, Afarose can help. Check out our Try-at-Home feature to get a beautiful well-fitting gown from the comfort of your own home. See what styles and colors suit you and the wedding theme.

Take bridal party collaboration to another level! Visit Afarose’s newest interactive virtual showroom feature for gown inspiration and style ideas. Bridal party members can collaborate with other bridesmaids and the bride can add comments for the bridal party about dress options and get feedback all in one convenient platform in real-time.