Relationship Tips for Newly Engaged Couples

Whether newly engaged or married for years—communication and respect is key for any successful relationship. Check out these relationship tips to start your marriage off right!

There’s no excitement like the heady first rush of a proposal, and the glow of being newly engaged simmers and radiates for a while after. But while the joy of that new status can feel almost like a mini-honeymoon, being newly engaged also comes with its own heap of stresses and concerns.

After all, the proposal only starts the clock on the mad dash to the wedding day. In this period, you two are learning how to navigate this updated relationship status, while also having suddenly piloted the ship to a successful trip down the aisle. Creating a wedding budget, booking dates and venues, negotiating new joint purchases, meeting in-laws, all while trying to understand your evolved feelings and get through the day-to-day is a lot.

It’s important to remember that as your relationship grows and develops, you two will similarly adapt and change. This engagement period is just one example of this evolution. Don’t be scared—embrace it, and each other as you change. Here are some fundamentals to ensure the longevity of a loving relationship.

Healthy and Open Communication

The primary foundation of any healthy relationship is communication. Just like a building’s foundation, every brick you set building up your relationship depends on a sturdy base of open communication. Newly engaged couples will also find that establishing a good foundation of communication early will serve them abundantly in marriage. There will always be ups and downs over the years, but if you two can discuss them frankly, you’ll be able to weather them together.

Healthy, open communication is more than just communicating your own thoughts clearly. Healthy communication starts with active listening, which means paying attention to both verbal and non-verbal cues. When your partner is speaking, set aside distractions like your phone or the TV. Paying attention to your partner’s tone and body language will give you a fuller understanding of what they really think and feel.

And when they’re done speaking, it helps to recap what you heard, double-checking you’ve heard them correctly. If you aren’t clear on something, ask for clarification. This will almost always avoid misunderstandings while also making your partner feel validated and heard.

Respect Each Other’s Boundaries

While popular wedding phrases like “two become one” set an expectation for symbiosis, it’s important to remember that no matter how close you are, you are two individual people. As such, you each have your own boundaries, which need to be understood and respected. Establishing boundaries in your relationship will greatly reduce stress and anxiety as a newly engaged couple, and increase accountability and satisfaction.

Just like fences separate your property from your neighbor’s, boundaries distinguish what is your responsibility in the relationship, and what is not. So, what is your responsibility?

• Your body
• State of mind
• Your feelings and perceptions
• The values you carry
• Your words
• Your actions

Psychologists refer to one’s belief in personal control over one’s behavior and decisions as your internal locus of control. Recognize that your partners’ feelings, thoughts, and actions are not your responsibility.

Acknowledging these boundaries and responsibilities greatly minimizes the tendency to blame each other. Consider how these boundaries change “You hurt my feelings” to “I feel hurt and misunderstood in this conversation.” Using these types of “I” statements (as opposed to blaming “you” statements) will significantly decrease conflict in honest communication.

Be Honest At All Times

Most likely you have already established a standard of honesty and trust with each other before becoming engaged. Nevertheless, you’ve decided to get married, which means making legal (and perhaps religious) commitments. For your relationship to thrive from engagement into marriage, it’s a good idea to clearly define and commit to what honesty means.

Honesty entails proactivity and transparency. This means being forthright and never intentionally misleading your partner by omitting or concealing information. Every time a partner is dishonest, it damages the integrity of the relationship.

But remember: being honest isn’t synonymous with being insensitive. Phrase the truth with care and kindness. Avoiding discomfort and conflict is a big reason why people are often benignly dishonest. That’s why it’s important to warmly acknowledge the vulnerability required to be honest. Pausing to recognize your partner’s bravery will create a safe space to communicate and encourage future honesty.

Conflicts, big or small, can’t be overcome if they’re simply avoided. The biggest reward that comes from honesty is the trust and closeness forged by solving problems together.

Be Generous With Compliments and Appreciation

Compliments are multi-beneficial. They make your partner feel loved, and they bring your attention to the things you love about them. The reality is the more time you spend with someone, the more critical you’ll likely become of them.

Searching for room for improvement is a psychological tool that has benefited human evolution. But in your relationship, it’s best not to go overboard with calling these moments out. To keep our naturally critical brains from falling into dissatisfaction with our partners, it helps to balance out the critiques with affirmation.

The Gottman Institute’s “magic 5:1 ratio” states that happy and stable couples should maintain a ratio of five positive interactions to every one negative interaction. The Gottman ratio isn’t just a nice idea: it’s a theory backed by research and data.

One of the easiest ways to create a positive interaction is to express appreciation and admiration for your partner. Your partner may know they are loved, but it’s important that they hear it verbally (and the same goes for you!). This will create a culture of appreciation between you both.

Be a Rock for Your Partner and Show Support

Emotional support is the lifeblood of a relationship. It might seem obvious to be supportive when your partner is going through a rough time. But this support must also be manifested consistently in your daily existence as a couple. Backing your partner’s goals, like reducing waste and having an eco-friendly wedding, can boost their morale and confidence.

Being supportive doesn’t imply trying to solve all your newly engaged partner’s problems. Being a rock for your partner can look like this:

• Speaking their love language
• Giving compliments
• Verbalizing “I love you”
• Holding space for your partner to speak, without judgment or advice
• Giving small gifts, or little acts of service, like a foot rub
• Recognizing boundaries and knowing when to give your partner alone time if they’ve asked for it

Set and Attain Relationship Goals Early as a Newly Engaged Couple

By now you’ve probably learned that couples stay together for reasons beyond just chemistry and compatibility. Setting goals is a powerful tool to build and grow a successful relationship.

Good news: as a newly engaged couple, you’ve already set one ambitious goal—getting married! Remember, goals should be S.M.A.R.T (specific, measurable, achievable, realistic, and timely).

Formulate a definitive timeline to attain your wedding goals.

But don’t let the joint goal-setting stop once you’re on the other side of your wedding day. Productive, worthwhile goals improve your relationship over time and foster shared experiences. Some good goals you two can set as a couple includes:

• Maintaining individuality—perhaps set a goal to go out with separate groups of friends once a month
• Financial markers
• Setting aside time for daily physical touch
• Planning weekly date nights (alternate planning responsibilities to keep you both engaged)
• Setting fitness and nutrition targets together

Whatever the goal, it’s important that both partners feel invested. One-sided goals only foster distress and resentment. Choose a neutral space to write out your couple goals, determine the length of your goal together, and agree on check-in dates. Remember to show each other support throughout!

Partner with Afarose For Newly Engaged Next Steps

“Choosing a partner is choosing a set of problems,” says David Wilde in Jonah Lehrer’s A Book About Love.

Healthy couples are not the result of the absence of problems. They’re the result of handling problems together.

As a newly engaged couple, you’ll be faced with a ton of weighty decisions before sealing your vows. Armed with this knowledge and these tips, you and your partner can steer through these trials (and those to come) with respect and emotional honesty, and make better decisions in support of your relationship.

A great decision you can make today is enlisting the help of thoughtful vendors like Afarose in your wedding plans. Founded in 2019, Afarose is your one-stop shop for high-end, made-to-order bridal gowns. The online wedding vendor offers a wide variety of bespoke dresses—and at affordable prices!

There are so many wedding dress fashions to choose from nowadays.

Allow an Afarose professional to help you decide on the best one for your style with a virtual appointment. To ensure your total confidence, Afarose’s Try At Home Program even allows you to order up to four dresses for a trial fit, so you can see them in person from the comfort of your living room before committing.

Schedule an appointment today to start your wedding planning off on the right foot!