How to Ace Your Bridesmaid Role

Congrats, you’ve been chosen as a bridesmaid! You feel special but also a little nervous. Of course, it's a tremendous pleasure to be asked to stand by a loved one on one of the most memorable days of their life. But what else are you expected to do apart from standing?

If this is your first time as part of a bridal party, we understand that that’s a question that you’re most likely asking. Don’t worry, you’ve come to a place of answers. Also, if this is not your first rodeo and you have had the pleasure of being a bridesmaid in the past but you aren't super sure you quite understood the job description, this guide is for you.

Consider this the ultimate cheat sheet to taking on (and slaying) your bridesmaids' responsibilities like a boss. You can keep this tab open in your browser in the days leading up to the wedding so you’ll be sure that your bridesmaid game is on a hundred.

Ready? Let’s dive in.

5 Things You Have To Do If You’re A Bridesmaid

Your bridesmaid duties begin from the moment you accept the proposal to be one. There’s a lot that is expected of you as a bridesmaid, but here are five duties central to the role.

If you don't feel that you are up to fulfilling these responsibilities, for whatever reason, then politely turn down being in the bridal party.

1. Buy a Bridesmaid Dress—and Don't Whine About It

Though some brides will pay for their bridesmaids’ dress, it is customary for each bridesmaid to pay for her own, as long as the cost is reasonable. And what constitutes "reasonable" will vary depending on the bridesmaids' age, employment status, and other factors.

If the bride has asked that her bridesmaids wear a certain kind of dress that’s more expensive than your budget, speak up. Confide in the bride so that you both can make decisions on the next steps.

If you do pay for a dress, please don’t go on and on about how that has set you back on your mortgage payment for the month. Be a gracious bridesmaid, not a wet blanket that kills everyone’s vibe. If you’re working with a tight budget, consider one of Afarose’s $68 bridesmaid dresses. There are several trendy options to choose from. Order one and wear it with confidence, and no one’s gonna be able to tell the difference between yours and a $500 dress.

2. Help Plan for the Bridal Shower and Bachelorette Party

Arguably, the bachelorette party is the highlight of bridesmaid duties. How can you help? Assist in the planning and payment for the bachelorette bash and the bridal shower (if there is one).

The maid (or matron) of honor is in charge of the celebrations, but bridesmaids are to contribute ideas, provide input, assist with decorating, chip in cash, and help with hostess duties. Again, be upfront about your financial constraints if you're on a tight budget. Don’t go broke trying to impress the rest of the bridesmaids.

Most importantly, bridesmaids help the bride pick the winning dress for her big day. If you’ve ever been a bridesmaid, you’ll know that this can take ages but with the help of a great wedding retailer, you all can get it done sooner.

3. Attend the Bridal Shower, Bachelorette Party, Wedding Rehearsal, and Rehearsal Dinner

Unless there’s a major reason why you can’t, attend all the pre-wedding and wedding events. As a bridesmaid, you are a major character. Even if the bride does not explicitly demand that you show up at all the events, you should do your best to show up.

If you can’t make it to any of the events for any reason, contact the bride as soon as you can. Do not assume that you won’t be missed because there are 19 other bridesmaids.

You get a pass if you're flying or taking a long train trip, or if the bridal shower clashes with an important hospital appointment. Also, bridesmaids who are pregnant or new moms can pass on attending a wild bachelorette party. But if you’re passing on the event because you have to dog-sit or water your plants, come on Beth. Brides know a flimsy excuse when they hear one.

When you do show up, actively participate in the proceedings. Don't be the one party pooper that spends all the time on their phone taking work calls or making solo Snapchats.

4. Show Up for the Wedding —and Dance Your Heart Out While At It

Unless something unexpected happens to you before the wedding, you better be at the wedding and the reception, and you better be dancing. Don’t wait for hypemen or your favorite song, just strap your dancing shoes on tight and shake your body when it’s time to dance.

You know those awkward moments when the dance floor is still empty and no one has had enough booze to bust a move? The unspoken expectation is that someone, anyone, gets the party started. It is on you all in the bridal party to hit the dance floor and do just that: get the party started!

5. Bring Your Listening Ears With You

Weddings can be very stressful so tensions tend to run high, especially for the bride who’s the star of the show. Here’s where you come in; you need to be a confidant.

Since the bride might be unlikely to complain to her groom for fear of causing a pre-wedding fight or increasing tension, it's up to you as her friend and bridesmaid to crack open a bottle of wine and put your listening ears on. Listen to the bride’s rants about the vendors, her groom, and/or her family. Come prepared with knowing nods, thoughtful interjections, and advice (only when you’re asked).

Reasonable Requests a Bride Can Ask of Her Bridesmaids

Some brides may make other demands that do not fall within the expectations list we just shared above. So, here are some other reasonable requests that a bride can ask of her bridesmaids.

1. Bring a Bridal Shower and Wedding Gift

You should get a gift for the bride for the shower and the wedding. She’s not being needy if she asks. You can always vary the amount based on how much you’ve spent (or will spend) on accommodation and dresses. Besides, it’s the thought that counts, not the price tag on the gifts. If money is tight, it's perfectly alright for the bridesmaids to pitch in for a group shower gift and/or a group wedding gift. To avoid overspending, make a budget for all the gifts ahead of time.

2. Give a Speech

This is not a must-do, but the bride is not stepping out of bounds if she asks you or any of the other bridesmaids to give a speech or toast, especially at one of the pre-wedding events. If you can’t do it, just let her know. It shouldn’t be a biggie.

3. Help the Bride Shop for Her Wedding Dress and Accessories

The best bridesmaids provide great wedding dress ideas to their best friend and encourage the sourcing of their bridesmaid dresses from a top-tier retailer like Afarose. You don't have to accompany a group of people on a tour of all the nearby bridal boutiques. But don't be alarmed if the bride invites you to a fitting or asks you to help her choose between two gowns. As for the bridesmaid dresses, Afarose’s Try At Home Program helps the bridal party to try on gowns at their convenience. You could throw a private try-on-the-dress party with champagne and dessert at your house.

Have Fun, It’s a Wedding!

Above all, a wedding is a big celebration and you should treat it as such. Have fun with your friends, get to know the other bridesmaids, and make lasting memories. Contact us at Afarose to help you get all of your bridal apparel needs tailored to your preferences, so you can focus on what’s important: celebrating.

If you are the bride planning her perfect wedding and you want to make sure your girl squad is on the same page as you, share this article with all your bridesmaids. Make sure to add a sweet message and a goofy emoji so you don’t come across as bridezilla-esque.

Also, check out the top bridesmaid trends for 2021 so that you can put together a really trendy squad.