How to Decide on a Guest List for Your Wedding

Making a wedding guest list is a daunting task, especially when it creates unwanted tension for the bridal couple. Streamline the task with these helpful tips.

Picking a wedding dress, your bridal party entourage, and the perfect wedding venue is the tip of the iceberg when it comes to wedding planning. The real wedding stress starts when it's time to make the wedding guest list.

It’s not as simple as writing down the names of everyone the couple wishes to share their special day with. There are certain people that play an important part in their wedding, some they prefer not to invite, and those who may or may not be included depending on a variety of factors.

While making a wedding guest list sounds like a trivial task to do, it's actually pretty important. Everything about the event, from the site to the menu, is directly influenced by the number of wedding attendees. For this reason, the sooner couples can get this out of their way, the better off they will be.

For those feeling overwhelmed by putting together their wedding guest list, consider these important suggestions to ease the process.

Preliminary Wedding Guest List

This is the simplest step in the whole process. Everyone has a general concept of how many people they want to include in their wedding guest list. So, couples can start by each making a basic list of everyone they'd want to have on their big day.

To keep track of all the names, they can group people by categories like family, close friends, colleagues, and so on. Couples can start by putting down immediate family members, and then add all the close relatives they want to include. Next, they can move to their best friends—the ones they couldn't imagine tying the knot without.

They may also try to envision what they would want their wedding to be like—either small and intimate or the biggest wedding of the century? How big the wedding guest list is will largely depend upon what kind of wedding the couple wants to host.

Consideration Factors

No matter how much a couple wants to invite everyone they've ever met to their big day, they'll ultimately have to cut down their wedding guest list to account for some limitations. Here are a few of the factors couples should consider when narrowing down their list.

Parents' Input

This is something couples should consider if parents and in-laws are contributing. As a courtesy, couples may want to give them a say on who they'd like to invite. But before the parents and in-laws start weighing in, couples should inform them of the target guest count and give them a rough figure to stick to.

Budget

It goes without saying that couples should base their wedding guest list on how much they can afford. Before even starting the list, the bride and groom should sit down and discuss allocating their budget. This should include discussing any contributions from parents, other family members, or even friends. If the budget turns out to be on the tighter side, they should shorten the list as much as possible. Considering the budget is very important, especially if the parents are planning to invite everyone they know.

Afarose Insider Tip: Use our wedding budget spreadsheet to keep track of allocations and prevent overspending.

Wedding Venue

The wedding venue plays an important role in determining the number of guests couples can invite. They should first verify the maximum headcount capacity of their chosen wedding venue, so they can make allowance for any unforeseeable circumstances. This will also help potential guests decide whether the location is accessible to them or not. The wedding venue will influence their ability to attend.

Wedding Date

Finalizing a wedding date will help potential guests determine their availability, as well. This will allow couples to narrow down and/or offer slots to other guests instead. Couples will get a better idea of how many wedding attendees they can expect on their date once they send out the save-the-date notices, and guests start expressing their decision on attendance.

Priority Wedding Guest List

Splitting up family and friends into lists and picking favorites may seem harsh, but it's a practical way to go about it. This is going to be collaborative work between couples and/or any contributing parties (i.e. parents), so make sure everyone is on the same page.

A-List

This is the list of the most important people in the couple's lives. They will play a major role in the big celebration. It can include immediate family members, the bridal party, close-knit relatives, closest friends, and any other key individuals the couple wouldn't want to be without at their wedding.

B-List

The B-list is the names of people close to the couple that they would like to have at their celebration. If any of the wedding guests on this list can't make it, though, it won't spoil the event. Distant relatives and the couple's extended circle of friends might fall into this category.

C-List

Couples may choose to invite the names on this wedding guest list depending on their budget or venue. This includes friends the pair rarely see, co-workers, acquaintances, plus ones of other wedding attendees, and even those who invited the couple to their wedding.

Obviously, the list is a very subjective one, and couples don't strictly have to invite people because of relationship labels but rather their closeness and significance to the couple's lives.

Fair Treatment

Since two parties are involved, it's only right that couples discuss the arrangement for each of their sides, ensuring that both are treated equally and fairly. It's not obligatory but obviously, no one wants to hurt anyone's feelings even before the wedding. For this reason, things like the number of family members on each side, seating arrangements, and such must be discussed ahead of time.

It's best to play it safe and split the wedding guest list evenly between the bride and groom's families, with half coming from each side. A quarter of the list typically goes to the parents, so they have the freedom to invite anyone they want. Aside from the names, couples should also decide where to sit and who to ensure all members of both families are treated the same way.

Plus-Ones and Children

Couples can ultimately opt out of including plus-ones or children on the wedding guest list. But if they decide to approve them, they should strategize or have limitations. A simple rule to follow is to exclude plus-ones they have never met or spoken with before.

What about the friend's boyfriend of six months or the cousin's kids to who the pair aren't really close? In those cases, create criteria for them to be included in the list; it’s that easy. Sounds cruel, but that's the way things are.

For instance, only friends’ spouses get an invite, or if most of the friends are unmarried, only long-term partners can be plus-ones. The same is true for kids. Couples should specify an age restriction, especially if they don't like to deal with rowdy five-year-olds.

For this to be effective and not chaotic, though, couples need to stick to whatever rules they come up with. All parties involved must also be notified of any exceptions to rules before the big day.

Wedding Planning Next Steps

Once the wedding guest list has been finalized, and the save-the-date notices or official wedding invitations have been sent—it’s time to do some wedding dress shopping!

Brides get very excited about the wedding gown. While looking for the perfect wedding gown might seem like a daunting task, Afarose is here to make it a fun and memorable experience. Afarose offers an expansive selection of wedding and bridesmaid gowns, with sizes ranging from sizes 2 to 28 and extra customizations are available upon request.

Afarose specializes in creating exclusive wedding dresses made from layers of high-quality tulle, chiffon, satin, and/or hand-pieced lace, all adorned with luxurious embellishments from Japan. The final product is a stunning gown meticulously crafted to capture the bride’s (and the bridesmaids’) natural beauty.

Ready to find THE DRESS? Schedule a Virtual Appointment for a one-on-one video conferencing styling session.